We have some issues in our household with staying seated at the dinner table and having some semblance of etiquette, as evidenced by Zoe's prayer: "Please help us to eat and eat and not play at the table. It's not a toy, it's a table to put food on . . . . Amen"
___________________________
The kids were *ehem* "eating lunch" and their conversation went like this:
Zoe: "Jonah, this carrot is as big as a GIANT!"
Jonah: "How big is a giant?"
Zoe: "Hmmm. . . . like a hundred pounds!"
Jonah: "I think mom even weighs a hundred pounds. Don't you mom?"
Me: "Um, let me think about that . . . Yeah."
___________________________________________
Zoe ran over her foot with the door . . . "Ow!" She winced, "I hurted my thumb toe!"
________________________________________________
Mimi (Chris's mom) asked "Zoe, why are you so cute?" Zoe replied matter-of-factly, "Because I took a shower today."
______________________________________________
Kolbi painted Zoe's little fingernails pink. Zoe held up her hands in admiration and stated, "When the boys see my fingers is painted they will want to kiss me on the lips!"
Dad gasped and said, "They'd better not or I'll slap them silly!"
Zoe replied incredulously, "Why daddy? I LOVE boys!"
______________________________________________
After walking through the park, dodging goose poop on the ground, watching the geese graze and swim in he pond, we found some large webbed footprints in the sand.
"Aiden," I asked, "Do you know what made those footprints?"
"Yep!" He replied confidently, "Chickens!!"
_____________________________________________
Jul 30, 2010
Jul 9, 2010
Letter to Mr. Rain
Dear Mr. Rain,
I'm afraid our love affair must come to an end. While we've enjoyed some good times together. . . you've dazzled me with beautiful flowers and tended to my gorgeous green yard . . . you've won over the hearts of my children ~ who love to run through your downpours and the puddles they make . . . and while your dark beauty intrigues and frightens me, it's time to end this charade. I could never love you the way I love Mr. Sunshine. My love for him Eclipses the deep affection I feel for you. I'm afraid my heart will always truly belong to him. But, before parting, I have but a small request. Could you still stay in my life and visit me occasionally so I can selfishly enjoy the benefits of your friendship, whilst giving my heart to my true love, the Sunshine? I know this is a lot to ask, but please consider it. I might even let you marry one of my daughters some day to sweeten the deal.
Sincerely,
Miss Solar Powered
I'm afraid our love affair must come to an end. While we've enjoyed some good times together. . . you've dazzled me with beautiful flowers and tended to my gorgeous green yard . . . you've won over the hearts of my children ~ who love to run through your downpours and the puddles they make . . . and while your dark beauty intrigues and frightens me, it's time to end this charade. I could never love you the way I love Mr. Sunshine. My love for him Eclipses the deep affection I feel for you. I'm afraid my heart will always truly belong to him. But, before parting, I have but a small request. Could you still stay in my life and visit me occasionally so I can selfishly enjoy the benefits of your friendship, whilst giving my heart to my true love, the Sunshine? I know this is a lot to ask, but please consider it. I might even let you marry one of my daughters some day to sweeten the deal.
Sincerely,
Miss Solar Powered
Jun 29, 2010
Where baby dragons come from
We took the kids to see "How to Drain Your Dragon" (as Zoe calls it) and I got to sit next to Aiden. I was really enjoying the part where **Spoiler** the kid was bonding with the dragon and I leaned over and whispered in Aiden's ear . . .
Me: "I really love this show"
Aiden: "Me too!"
Me: "I want a baby dragon for a pet!"
Aiden: "Me too!"
Me: "Where do we get some of those?"
Aiden: (looking thoughtful for a moment) "California I think."
May 27, 2010
Heard in the trenches
Lady Gaga seems to be on the brain around here. Jonah came home from school with the following gem . . .
Jonah: "Mom, how do you wake up Lady Gaga?"
Me: "Huh?" (clueless as usual)
Jonah: "poke-er face."
------------
Zoe too has gotten into the song too and I often find her singing and dancing to it. I finally heard the words she was singing today . . .
She was walking around singing, "Can't eat my, can't eat my, booger face. . . " Then she stops, looks up at me and says, "Mom, that's gross that she sings about a booger face! Ewww"
__________________________________________
Zoe had gone outside and was sitting on the bench swing with Mimi (Chris's mom). I noticed that her toys were still spread out all over the living room, so I called out to her, "Zoe, are you done with these toys?" "Yes," she says as she imperiously waves her hand at me like she's shooing away a pesky fly, "You can pick them up now."
__________________________________________
Chris told the kids we wanted to take them to see "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" (Big mistake by the way) and Aiden, who is always only half listening pipes in, "Diarrhea wimpy kid!?!"
___________________________________________
Zoe was singing a primary song we sing to people on their birthday. It says, "You've had a birthday, shout hooray! . . . " Zoe's version goes a little more like this . . . "You've had a birthday, shout for Wayne . . . "
___________________________________________
Jonah: "Mom, how do you wake up Lady Gaga?"
Me: "Huh?" (clueless as usual)
Jonah: "poke-er face."
------------
Zoe too has gotten into the song too and I often find her singing and dancing to it. I finally heard the words she was singing today . . .
She was walking around singing, "Can't eat my, can't eat my, booger face. . . " Then she stops, looks up at me and says, "Mom, that's gross that she sings about a booger face! Ewww"
__________________________________________
Zoe had gone outside and was sitting on the bench swing with Mimi (Chris's mom). I noticed that her toys were still spread out all over the living room, so I called out to her, "Zoe, are you done with these toys?" "Yes," she says as she imperiously waves her hand at me like she's shooing away a pesky fly, "You can pick them up now."
__________________________________________
Chris told the kids we wanted to take them to see "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" (Big mistake by the way) and Aiden, who is always only half listening pipes in, "Diarrhea wimpy kid!?!"
___________________________________________
Zoe was singing a primary song we sing to people on their birthday. It says, "You've had a birthday, shout hooray! . . . " Zoe's version goes a little more like this . . . "You've had a birthday, shout for Wayne . . . "
___________________________________________
Apr 16, 2010
The cluelessness of Mom
Zoe has taken notice of my appearance lately. She notices when my hair is undone or unruly and she tells me that I didn't do a good job, only she does a good job. Then she runs to get the hairbrush to fix her poor, clueless mom.
This morning, I had my hair pulled back in a sloppy bun with an assortment of clips in my hair to keep my bangs out of the way so I could wash and apply make-up to my face. I looked decidedly Medusa-like I'll admit. Zoe walked into the bathroom, climbed up on the step stool and watched intently for a few minutes.
"Mom, you look weird!" She states.
"Thanks a lot Zoe, that's very sweet of you to say" I reply facetiously.
Obviously flummoxed that her subtle hint didn't make it through my thick skull, she puts her hands on her hips and says "Weird means NOT pretty."
This morning, I had my hair pulled back in a sloppy bun with an assortment of clips in my hair to keep my bangs out of the way so I could wash and apply make-up to my face. I looked decidedly Medusa-like I'll admit. Zoe walked into the bathroom, climbed up on the step stool and watched intently for a few minutes.
"Mom, you look weird!" She states.
"Thanks a lot Zoe, that's very sweet of you to say" I reply facetiously.
Obviously flummoxed that her subtle hint didn't make it through my thick skull, she puts her hands on her hips and says "Weird means NOT pretty."
Oct 26, 2009
Heard in the Trenches
I've been such a neglectful blogger, by way of peace offering to the blog-gods, I bring to the table the many "Heard in the trenches" quotes I've been amassing. Enjoy :)
_______________________________________________________________
Zoe was playing with a toy car (the Flintstone kind you sit in and use your feet to move around). She impatiently honked at me and announced "Mooo-oom, that means I need gas".
I came over and pretended to fill-er'-up. Then I held out my hand to her and said, "That will be 25 million dollars." She looks at my hand, reaches over and pretends to grab something out of my hand, then put it into her pocket.
Me: (laughing) "No Zoe, you're supposed to give me money!"
Zoe: "Oh yeah, I forgot . . . you don't have any money."
----------------------------------------------
Aiden and Jonah were sitting at the table eating when Jonah sneezed. Aiden started freaking out . . . . "Mom! Jonah Bless-you'd all over my cashews!!!"
--------------------------------------------------
Overheard:
Aiden: "I wish I was a monkey."
Jonah: "Why?"
Aiden: "Cause then I'd always have to eat bananas."
Zoe: "No Aiden, we're peoples (pointing to her hand and arm as if this would prove her point), see peoples."
-----------------------------------------------------
When we visited the Tulsa Zoo, we stopped at the flamingo exhibit. Zoe was fascinated and ran right up to the fence and poked her face through the bars. I could hear her saying, "Hew-wo fwamingo! Hew-wo!" She paused and turned to me, "He's not talkin' to me!"
--------------------------------------------------------
Aiden and Jonah were playing with their matchbox cars when I heard Jonah tell Aiden:
"Aiden, this gold camaro (pronounced ka-mar-o) costs infinity dollars. Bumblebee, the yellow camaro, costs google dollars which is $300 dollars less than infinity."
-------------------------------------------------------
Aiden has a serious problem with staying on his bum in his chair during meals. Hence I'm constantly telling him to "Glue your bum to your chair." One particular day he kept popping out of his chair (effectively making a big mess and dropping crumb trails everytime he got up). I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he'd gotten out of his chair again and, in exasperation I said, "Aiden, why are you out of your chair again?! Do you want to die today?"
He pronounced, "I'm getting a napkin to clean my face . . . I'm not a di-er!"
----------------------------------------------------------
Zoe has a pencil that changes colors with body heat. She lamented to me one day that "This pencil is not change colors, that's why it's needs new batteries."
---------------------------------------------------------
Aiden was playing a game with markers. He was using them as magic wands, walking around the house pronouncing, "I turn you into a frog", etc. I overheard him saying, "I turn you into something that looks just like you." (Pause) "Hey, it worked!"
---------------------------------------------------------------
Aiden and Zoe were playing "Go fish" and I told Zoe (who'd never played before and doesn't understand the subtleties of the game), "Okay Zoe, it's your turn. Ask him if he has a card that matches one of your cards." Zoe nods and says, "Aiden . . . do you have a card that matches one of my cards?"
----------------------------------------------------------------
Aiden (out of the blue) turns to me and says, "My favorite character on Cinderella is Angry."
Kolbi: (rolling her eyes and in her best pre-teeny-bopper, somewhat disgusted voice) "Aiden, don't you mean Grumpy on Snow White?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------
On a particularly rainy day, I could hear Aiden and Zoe going around the house singing, "It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is BORING." (Giggling) I asked them where they heard that and they proudly pronounced, "Grandpa Pete taught us that!"
------------------------------------------------------------------
Pop (Chris's dad) (in a very sweet and bonding moment) was reading a book to Aiden. When it was through, Aiden looked up at him and said, "That was great Pop . . . Now can you turn on the t.v. for me?"
_______________________________________________________________
Zoe was playing with a toy car (the Flintstone kind you sit in and use your feet to move around). She impatiently honked at me and announced "Mooo-oom, that means I need gas".
I came over and pretended to fill-er'-up. Then I held out my hand to her and said, "That will be 25 million dollars." She looks at my hand, reaches over and pretends to grab something out of my hand, then put it into her pocket.
Me: (laughing) "No Zoe, you're supposed to give me money!"
Zoe: "Oh yeah, I forgot . . . you don't have any money."
----------------------------------------------
Aiden and Jonah were sitting at the table eating when Jonah sneezed. Aiden started freaking out . . . . "Mom! Jonah Bless-you'd all over my cashews!!!"
--------------------------------------------------
Overheard:
Aiden: "I wish I was a monkey."
Jonah: "Why?"
Aiden: "Cause then I'd always have to eat bananas."
Zoe: "No Aiden, we're peoples (pointing to her hand and arm as if this would prove her point), see peoples."
-----------------------------------------------------
When we visited the Tulsa Zoo, we stopped at the flamingo exhibit. Zoe was fascinated and ran right up to the fence and poked her face through the bars. I could hear her saying, "Hew-wo fwamingo! Hew-wo!" She paused and turned to me, "He's not talkin' to me!"
--------------------------------------------------------
Aiden and Jonah were playing with their matchbox cars when I heard Jonah tell Aiden:
"Aiden, this gold camaro (pronounced ka-mar-o) costs infinity dollars. Bumblebee, the yellow camaro, costs google dollars which is $300 dollars less than infinity."
-------------------------------------------------------
Aiden has a serious problem with staying on his bum in his chair during meals. Hence I'm constantly telling him to "Glue your bum to your chair." One particular day he kept popping out of his chair (effectively making a big mess and dropping crumb trails everytime he got up). I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he'd gotten out of his chair again and, in exasperation I said, "Aiden, why are you out of your chair again?! Do you want to die today?"
He pronounced, "I'm getting a napkin to clean my face . . . I'm not a di-er!"
----------------------------------------------------------
Zoe has a pencil that changes colors with body heat. She lamented to me one day that "This pencil is not change colors, that's why it's needs new batteries."
---------------------------------------------------------
Aiden was playing a game with markers. He was using them as magic wands, walking around the house pronouncing, "I turn you into a frog", etc. I overheard him saying, "I turn you into something that looks just like you." (Pause) "Hey, it worked!"
---------------------------------------------------------------
Aiden and Zoe were playing "Go fish" and I told Zoe (who'd never played before and doesn't understand the subtleties of the game), "Okay Zoe, it's your turn. Ask him if he has a card that matches one of your cards." Zoe nods and says, "Aiden . . . do you have a card that matches one of my cards?"
----------------------------------------------------------------
Aiden (out of the blue) turns to me and says, "My favorite character on Cinderella is Angry."
Kolbi: (rolling her eyes and in her best pre-teeny-bopper, somewhat disgusted voice) "Aiden, don't you mean Grumpy on Snow White?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------
On a particularly rainy day, I could hear Aiden and Zoe going around the house singing, "It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is BORING." (Giggling) I asked them where they heard that and they proudly pronounced, "Grandpa Pete taught us that!"
------------------------------------------------------------------
Pop (Chris's dad) (in a very sweet and bonding moment) was reading a book to Aiden. When it was through, Aiden looked up at him and said, "That was great Pop . . . Now can you turn on the t.v. for me?"
Aug 8, 2009
The surprising perks of law enforcement
I find we have some of the funniest conversations in the car . . .
As we were driving along the other day, we saw a police motorcycle with flashing lights ahead of us. Aiden instantly sat up and took notice. "I want to be a police when I get big as a dad!" He announces. His enthusiasm was adorable, and while I have huge amounts of respect for the hard work and danger law enforcers face, the thought of my little boy running around in dangerous situations all the time is not my idea of a wonderful career choice. I'd much rather he choose a nice, safe career. One where his momma doesn't have to worry about him so much.
Then a discussion ensued when Jonah asked, "Can you choose whatever you want to be when you grow up?" (With genuine awe in his voice) I told him that he could choose what he wanted to be, but that whatever he chose, he'd have to work hard to learn how to do it. "Policemen have do to a lot of training" I explained. "Veterinarians have to go to school to learn about the animals, Chiropractors have to learn all about the human body to help it, Architects have to go to college to learn how to design building. So yes, you can choose, but you have to work hard for it."
"Hmmm." Jonah replied, "cool!"
About ten minutes later, after a lengthy silence for Aiden, he pipes in . . . "Mom, the reason I want to be a police when I get big as dad, is because I want my own key."
Me: (Not sure I heard him right) "Key?"
Aiden: "Yes. I've always wanted my own key."
Me: (Smiling) "You can do lots of different jobs and have your own key." ("Something that doesn't involve shootings, high-speed car chases, and bad guys" I add silently)
Aiden: "Really?!"
Jonah: "But Aiden, if you're a police man, you get your own gun! A real gun!"
Aiden: "Wow! Then I definitely want to be a police!!"
Geez! Your own key AND your own real gun! What job could compete with those awesome perks?!
As we were driving along the other day, we saw a police motorcycle with flashing lights ahead of us. Aiden instantly sat up and took notice. "I want to be a police when I get big as a dad!" He announces. His enthusiasm was adorable, and while I have huge amounts of respect for the hard work and danger law enforcers face, the thought of my little boy running around in dangerous situations all the time is not my idea of a wonderful career choice. I'd much rather he choose a nice, safe career. One where his momma doesn't have to worry about him so much.
Then a discussion ensued when Jonah asked, "Can you choose whatever you want to be when you grow up?" (With genuine awe in his voice) I told him that he could choose what he wanted to be, but that whatever he chose, he'd have to work hard to learn how to do it. "Policemen have do to a lot of training" I explained. "Veterinarians have to go to school to learn about the animals, Chiropractors have to learn all about the human body to help it, Architects have to go to college to learn how to design building. So yes, you can choose, but you have to work hard for it."
"Hmmm." Jonah replied, "cool!"
About ten minutes later, after a lengthy silence for Aiden, he pipes in . . . "Mom, the reason I want to be a police when I get big as dad, is because I want my own key."
Me: (Not sure I heard him right) "Key?"
Aiden: "Yes. I've always wanted my own key."
Me: (Smiling) "You can do lots of different jobs and have your own key." ("Something that doesn't involve shootings, high-speed car chases, and bad guys" I add silently)
Aiden: "Really?!"
Jonah: "But Aiden, if you're a police man, you get your own gun! A real gun!"
Aiden: "Wow! Then I definitely want to be a police!!"
Geez! Your own key AND your own real gun! What job could compete with those awesome perks?!
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