Heard in the trenches

We have some issues in our household with staying seated at the dinner table and having some semblance of etiquette, as evidenced by Zoe's prayer: "Please help us to eat and eat and not play at the table. It's not a toy, it's a table to put food on . . . . Amen"
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The kids were *ehem* "eating lunch" and their conversation went like this:

Zoe: "Jonah, this carrot is as big as a GIANT!"

Jonah: "How big is a giant?"

Zoe: "Hmmm. . . . like a hundred pounds!"

Jonah: "I think mom even weighs a hundred pounds. Don't you mom?"

Me: "Um, let me think about that . . . Yeah."

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Zoe ran over her foot with the door . . . "Ow!" She winced, "I hurted my thumb toe!"

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Mimi (Chris's mom) asked "Zoe, why are you so cute?" Zoe replied matter-of-factly, "Because I took a shower today."

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Kolbi painted Zoe's little fingernails pink. Zoe held up her hands in admiration and stated, "When the boys see my fingers is painted they will want to kiss me on the lips!"

Dad gasped and said, "They'd better not or I'll slap them silly!"

Zoe replied incredulously, "Why daddy? I LOVE boys!"

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After walking through the park, dodging goose poop on the ground, watching the geese graze and swim in he pond, we found some large webbed footprints in the sand.

"Aiden," I asked, "Do you know what made those footprints?"

"Yep!" He replied confidently, "Chickens!!"
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Letter to Mr. Rain

Dear Mr. Rain,

I'm afraid our love affair must come to an end. While we've enjoyed some good times together. . . you've dazzled me with beautiful flowers and tended to my gorgeous green yard . . . you've won over the hearts of my children ~ who love to run through your downpours and the puddles they make . . . and while your dark beauty intrigues and frightens me, it's time to end this charade. I could never love you the way I love Mr. Sunshine. My love for him Eclipses the deep affection I feel for you. I'm afraid my heart will always truly belong to him. But, before parting, I have but a small request. Could you still stay in my life and visit me occasionally so I can selfishly enjoy the benefits of your friendship, whilst giving my heart to my true love, the Sunshine? I know this is a lot to ask, but please consider it. I might even let you marry one of my daughters some day to sweeten the deal.

Sincerely,

Miss Solar Powered