Super hero-ing is hard work!

I'd like to introduce you to my little man Aiden.












Aiden is three years old.
Although only three, this guy has major aspirations. Just yesterday he made plans for when he "gets big as a dad and turns into Spiderman." Let me just say, "Venom, beware! You wouldn't guess it buy his angelic smile, but this guy is tough and looking for you!" I figured he was pretty serious about this super hero stuff, but little did I know my little man is up to his ears in super hero work. . .



The other day while cleaning Aiden's room, I unexpectedly discovered a most enlightening page from what appeared to be a personal "super hero" instruction manual. It reads as follows:

• Consume all of the fruit you can get your hands on. Green vegetables have been found to contain kryptonite, so if asked what vegetable you want, reply "frozen fruit". Volume of fruit eaten is key, You must bulk up and have energy for your superhero days. Venom is at large, and good nutrition is very important when fighting super-villains.
  

• study your brother carefully. He is older and far surpasses you in the superhero ranks--he is practically a full-fledged Jedi. Make yourself his padewan learner.
  

• Focus on Baby Zoe. She has potential for super abilities. Teach her everything you know. Climbing up on tall objects and hiding small objects in her mouth are especially helpful for one so young. Encourage her, show her how to develop her skills. If groomed properly she may someday make a fine side-kick. Zoe's ability to break glass with her scream is surely a super power. Encourage this power, train her to develop it. Make baby Zoe scream at least once every 5 minutes. If she screams more, you have done your job well. . . Mission accomplished, time to enjoy a good laugh at your success. Occasionally make baby Zoe laugh. While this may also be a super-power, it does not produce nearly the same force as her scream. Stick to what works. Keep in mind that when lacking in super-villains to practice your skills on, Baby Zoe makes a nice substitute.

• hum the Star Wars, Darth Vader theme song throughout every meal. Inciting big sister Kolbi to clutch at her ears and scream, or baby Zoe to join in on the song equals success. To shake things up, make up your own songs to the Star Wars theme. An example song includes: "Mom, I want, want, want, want, so-ome fruit. Mom, I want, want, want, want, so-ome fruit. Please give me, so-ome fru-uit. Some Fruit, some fru-u-u-uuit." Repeat regularly for ultimate effectiveness. Volume helps too.
  

• make noise at ALL times! You never know what will happen if you stop--revocation of super hero powers? Pain? Death? It's not worth finding out. Just keep it up at all costs. The louder the noise is, the more effective. Do not let other people sleeping become an excuse to slack in this goal. To avoid the temptation to stop, increase the volume ten-fold. You may even get mom to join you in the screaming. Bonus!
  

• Be fearless when it comes to dangerous things. Remember you are a superhero and it does not do to let the enemy know you are afraid. You are impenetrable to harm from falling from great heights, pulling things down on you, playing with objects considered dangerous to everyday humans, and water. Jump in head first and don't hesitate to test your abilities. It makes you stronger.
  

• Remember that sometimes the villains possess your mother. It is unfortunate but true. When she tries to get you to do something you do not want to do (especially something that would inhibit your super hero abilities) you can be certain she is, at that time, possessed. When she asks you sweetly to stop what you're doing, it is a trick. Defy her at all costs. Eventually she will scream and her true identity will be revealed. The surest way to restore mom to her former self is to disarm her with your winning smile. All demons must flee from this, your greatest superpower.
  

• When mom is not possessed, keep in mind that she is unaware of your super hero abilities. Keep her in the dark. It's safer for her there. Though you are capable of so much more than she is aware, remember you are only three in her eyes. Regularly complain that you are unable to complete simple tasks such as putting on your own slip-on shoes, dressing yourself, and going to sleep without extra hugs and stories. Even moms of superheroes need to feel needed.

• Sometimes your siblings are also possessed. Pull out all of your best moves and fight them with all of your super abilities until you drive out the villain. It is your duty to protect your family from such evil.
  

• Bear in mind that superheroes need a break from the hard work of hero-ing. Hence, alter-egos. Enjoy these down times as they are few and far between. Try reading a good book, cuddling, or playing with your siblings (after they are freed from possession).

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Wow! Enlightening eh? Even I didn't realize Aiden was so far into the superhero world! I don't think this page was meant for my eyes as I am often "possessed". But even superheroes get careless with their instruction manuals sometimes. All I can say is "Good luck with those goals little man Aiden". Thus far you are meeting all of them with gusto! We're all rooting for and counting on you!