Who knew?

. . . that Elmo was such a trouble maker . . . Who knew that this sweet, furry little monster is sadistically out to get my 8 year old daughter?

Zoe was bestowed an Elmo Live for Christmas. He's adorable! He sings, he dances, he tells jokes, plays games, hugs and blows kisses with a cute little reminder that "Elmo loves you! Mmm Hmm. Kiss-kiss!" Zoe is so smitten! She plays with him almost all day and never seems to get tired of him.

Kolbi, however, seems to be the target for Elmo's darker side. . . Kolbi and Zoe now share a room, so it stands to reason that they would both have their toys stored there at night. Elmo's fiendish campaign started not too long after Christmas . . . Kolbi ~ who had supposedly been sleeping for the last half-hour~ crept quietly out of their room and over to where Chris and I were watching a show. "Mom, Elmo is staring at me." She says sheepishly. Being the ever-loving-and-understanding parent that I am, I tell her to turn him around and go back to bed. "But Mom, he creeps me out!" With a flourish and a sigh, I promptly get up, and move Elmo out of the room and into the hallway. She's satisfied and gratefully returns to her bed.

The next night, I find out that the sadistic little son-of-a-monster, Elmo, has the patience of Job when pursuing his prey. Kolbi again asks me to move Elmo out of the room for the night. But she has a special request that I not put him in the hallway, because when she got up to go to the bathroom this morning, Elmo was waiting for her with evil-intent shining up at her from those beady eyes. She was so scared she decided to hold it until the sun came up. Poor thing . . . her eyeballs were swimming when the rooster finally crowed!

For some weeks, Kolbi would remind me every night to please remove Elmo and keep him out of the hallway. I've obliged~ to keep the peace~ even when Zoe caught on that her precious Elmo was being banished every night and pitched an ever-loving fit. So, every night I've been condemning poor Elmo to face the wall (where his malicious eyes cannot find Kolbi), and around the corner (so he can't lie in wait for her to unsuspectingly need to tinkle and pounce on her). All the time thinking it's silly and not taking her very seriously.

Last night, the Hubs and I were in our room talking, when we hear a whisper of a knock on our door. It's Kolbi. Apparently, she got up to go to the bathroom and on her way back, she spied Elmo in his appointed corner (or rather she saw his hand as it was the only part of him that was remotely visible). "He moved Mom!" She tells me. "Honey," I placate, "Elmo's turned off, he can't move." "No Mom!" She insists, "I think I saw his hand move! It scared me! Could you walk with me back to my room?" Chris and I share an amused look and I escort her back to her bed.

"This has got to stop," I'm thinking and sit her down for a little talk. "You do realize that Elmo's not real, don't you?" I ask.

"Yes," She replies. "But he still scares me."

"Even during the day when Zoe's playing with him?"

"Yeah, a little." She sheepishly replies.

"Why?!" I ask, bewildered.

"I don't know Mom, he's just creepy!"

I tell her to visualize (every time thoughts of him start to scare her) her picking Elmo up, turning him upside down and flipping the switch on his left foot to the off position. "When he's off, he can't move" I emphasize. "He becomes like a furry, red little piece of furniture. But please don't sit on him. Zoe would never forgive you for crushing her best friend." She giggles, the mood's lightened. "Besides Kolbi . . ." I remind her " . . . Elmo loves you! Mmm hmmm! Kiss-kiss!"