Day of the undressed

In keeping with my crazy week report, this was my Tuesday . . .
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Having garnered some child-rearing tips from my counselor (does it really surprise anyone that 'Crazy ol' Alicia' requires the help of a therapist??) I decided to try one of them out. It was a particularly cold and windy day outside. We had to take Jonah to school, but Aiden was being stubborn to the mat and vehemently refusing to put on his shirt, socks, shoes, or jacket. This is where the sage advice came in. "Let him experience the natural consequences of his actions" she said. "If he decides not to get dressed, he will naturally be cold. Hopefully 1 time is all it'll take to learn not to do it again". Since it was so cold (did I mention it was cold?), I thought today would be the perfect day to try this out. I pack him in the van shoeless and shirtless. He thinks this is a grand adventure and I'm beginning to get leary of this advice. The real fun started when we were running late and I had to walk Jonah up to the front door, towing Zoe and a half-naked boy. The wind was whipping something fierce, but it wasn't the wind that made my cheeks flaming red. Aiden states simply, "boy, it sure is cold today," while sporting a huge grin, pleased that he's actually getting away with this. Hmmm...

In the office, I'm red from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I can't believe I'm doing this. At the surprised look on the office lady's face I hastily inform her that "Someone absolutely refused to get dressed today. Hopefully he'll learn never to do this again." Office lady #1 nods, but doesn't say a word. I quickly sign Jonah in and beat a hasty retreat to the van. "See how cold it is out here Aiden? I bet you must be cold. (He nods and shivers fiercely) Are you gonna get dressed next time?" (He nods and shivers again). Maybe this could work!

Feeling slightly smug that it worked, I call up a friend and share my triumph. My friend says, "Wow! You're brave. I'd be afraid they'd call CPS. It's like their job to watch for those kind of things." I hang up feeling like someone punched me in the gut. That office lady looked kind of weirded out now that I think back on it. Is she calling CPS right now? What if they take my kid away because I was trying to teach him a one time lesson? It's not like I plan on doing this every day! The more I think about it, the more freaked-out I get. Basically I get myself worked up into a tizzy. See why I see a counselor?

My wise hubby urges me to call the office and speak to office lady #1. When I call, she's not there. She's gone to lunch. I start to cry (what can I say, I'm a bawl baby!) and explain the whole sitch' to office lady #2 and she ever so sweetly re-assures me that she's sure office lady #1 didn't think anything of it. Not to worry, but she'll have #1 call me as soon as she gets back.

I get a call a half hour later. Office lady #1 says she's so sorry. The situation was explained to her and she feels so bad that I was so worried. She said the reason she didn't say anything and probably had a funny look on her face is because she was trying desperately not to laugh out loud. She didn't want to re-inforce that this was a funny thing for naked-boy to do. She assures me that she used to do the same thing with her kids and it almost always worked. We chatted for a bit and afterwards it all seemed so silly. *Whew!* yet another encounter with CPS narrowly avoided. When I met with my counselor next and told her what had happened, she just about fell out of her chair laughing. Not very professional, but definitely warranted.

In keeping with the whole nudie theme, Zoe apparently wanted to get in on some of the action. I put her down for a nap, whereupon she quickly quieted down and fell asleep. Or so I thought. About a half-hour later I hear a few peeps out of her. What? I guess she didn't fall asleep after all. I open the door to her room to find a very diaper-less, nekked-as- the- day- she- was- born, birthday-suit-sportin' baby jumping in her crib like it's a trampoline and beaming proudly up at me. She holds up her soggy diaper and states obviously, "Uh oh mama. Mess mama." "Yes darling, what a lovely mess you've made!" I reply, just thankful that it wasn't a poopy diaper. I bathe, re-diaper, and dress the baby (in an outfit that is even hard for me to remove), strip her bed to wash, then promptly pick up the phone and schedule my next appointment with my shrink. "Any advice now for dealing with nudity???"

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Up next: Wednesday ~ To hurl, or not to hurl? That is the question.